Injections, anxiety, and jealousy...oh my!

Sorry it's been a while since I've updated (it's only been a week, so not too bad I suppose!) but there really hasn't been much to update.  Other than the fact that my stomach looks like it was in a fight with a tiny fairy with needle-sized fists, or that my arm looks like that of a heroin addicts...things are going well!  The doctors have upped my meds quite a bit, but so far just a small allergic reaction around the injection site is the only negative; nothing a little Benadryl can't handle!  Good news is, it's looking like retrieval of the eggs will be later this week (I was told Thursday or Friday) and there are about 20 mature eggs so far...YIKES!  They'll take all of them and freeze the ones they don't implant just in case this round isn't successful or for our future attempts to get pregnant...not sure I want 20 children though! ;) 

I also apologize if my last blog offended any women that have not expereinced fertility issues.  That was not my intention AT ALL...I'm just simply jealous...of your uterus.  I'm thankful that you didn't have to go through any of this.  I wouldn't wish this kind of anxiety and bi-polar mood swings on my worst enemy...or would I?! ;)  But in all seriousness, I couldn't be happier for my friends and family that were able to conceive exactly when they wanted to...I just wish I had some of their genes and fallopian tubes! 

The closer we get to all of this actually happening the more excited and nervous I'm getting.  I hate being 'put under' for surgery, but if I get a baby (or two!) out of it I won't complain.  The thought of having a baby literally consumes my every thought.  I can't go anywhere without seeing something baby-related.  It's kind of like when you get a new car and suddenly you see that car everywhere.  When I'm driving down the street I notice strollers on sidewalks, pregnant women crossing the street, "Baby On Board" stickers on minivans.  At the mall I'm jealous of the women with giant bellies and swollen ankles..no matter how miserable they look!  At my most recent doctor appointment with the fertility specialist I was in the waiting room when a woman walked in with a toddler on her hip; my first thought was "Why are you here?! You have a baby already!"...I almost hit myself right then and there for thinking that, but this is what infertility is doing to me!

But hopefully by the end of the first week in May we'll know if the eggs (they'll implant 2) 'stuck' or not.  The thought of not being able to conceive for over a year and a half and then possibly being told we're having twins in a few weeks makes me want to jump up and down with excitement and freak out all at the same time!  Oh how our lives will change! 

And if all goes well...this will turn into a pregnancy blog, and then a mommy blog!  So here's to change in the near future  :)