The rollercoaster ride that is my pregnancy

Yeah...we're not even going to comment on how long it's been since I've posted.  It's just like me to start something with so much 'giddy up and go', and then leave it by the wayside a few months later.  This is a trend in my life; exercising, dieting, staying organized, keeping my car clean, etc.  But we all have these issues...right?!


So here we are at 27, almost 28 weeks!  Oh, how time flies when you're...pregnant?  Typically that saying is when you're having fun, but I'm not so sure I'd call the last 6 months 'fun' necessarily.  It's definitely had it's moments, ('You're pregnant!'...'It's a boy!'...'I think I felt him move...or I have gas!') but lately things have been a little 'rough'.

After my fainting-at-the-hair-salon episode at week 18, I could have waited another 22 weeks to see the inside of a hospital and been perfectly okay with it.  But my body had other plans!  At 24 weeks I had some cramping in my lower back that automatically made my brain say, "oh man, I'm getting my period"...but then it quickly dawned on me that's not a good thing right now!  So I went to the restroom to make sure there was no blood to be found, and as I was leaving the restroom I felt a little 'gush' of liquid that made me a little nervous. This all happened at work, and I'm pretty sure it looked like I peed my pants, but with my belly being so big, I couldn't tell, and working at an elementary school, I'm sure I wasn't the only one walking around with a wet spot in my crotch!  On my way home from work I decided to call the doctor just to make sure this was 'normal', and was fully expecting to hear, 'Just go home, put your feet up and rest'.  Instead, I heard a nurse tell me to drive straight to Labor and Delivery Triage in case my water just broke.  Oh...my...God.  I was a hysterical mess driving home.  I'm sure anyone who passed me thought I just found out my dog died or something.  To add to the stress, my stupid phone wouldn't dial (I HATE Droids!), and I couldn't get a hold of Adam.  But eventually I did and we made our way to the hospital.  A little over an hour later I was being told that everything was just fine, and that I probably just had an episode of 'urinary incontinence'.  WHAT?!  I asked the doctor, "so...I just peed my pants?", and she smiled at me and responded, "Well, yes."  Great.  Thank the lord we have insurance, because if I just paid out of pocket for a trip to the ER because I have leaky pipes...

The next and final (up to today that is) 'episode' I had was a little worse.  I woke up on a Sunday morning (just four days after the previous trip to the ER) with horrible diarrhea.  I thought it was just my lovely and dysfunctional digestive system making another appearance, but a few hours later when I started barfing uncontrollably, I knew it was something more.  We had been at a wedding the night before and I couldn't help but think, "go figure, the one time I'm actually not hungover from having too good of a time the night before, I'm still sicker than a dog!"  I chalked it up to the stomach bug and thought I'd have about 9 hours of hell before feeling like only a car ran over me rather than a bus.  Fifteen VERY long hours later I was still unable to keep anything down and had developed the worst stomach cramps I've ever felt, so I decided it was time to call the doctor.  He had me go the Labor and Delivery Triage yet again!  I'm surprised the nursing staff doesn't have a permanent bed set up for me by now!  When we arrived at the hospital, poor Reid's heart rate was over 190bpm.  Mine was also very elevated, and the little belt thing they put on your tummy, was showing that I was starting to have contractions.  They hooked me up to an IV right away and within 20 mins I felt like a new woman!  I was kept over night and 11.5 hours later was finally sent home with a diagnosis of food poisoning.  I am now EXTREMELY careful of what I eat!  There's no way I could go through that again any time soon, if ever!

Here's me at that dreaded 24th week - this was taken the night before I had the food poisoning...just a few hours later I wasn't looking so good!

But I can thankfully say the last 3 weeks have been nice, quiet, and uneventful!  Even with all our ups and downs, I'm still over the moon about even BEING pregnant!  I'd much rather be short of breath because I ate too much, or having sciatica because the kid's head is getting bigger, than going through the emotional rollercoaster that was infertility. One of my greatest and closest friends is on that rollercoaster right now, and I feel for her.  She goes in for her first IVF retrieval on the 17th of this month after 3 failed IUI's.  Please think, pray, whatever it is you do, for her in the upcoming weeks.  There isn't a more deserving couple than her and her husband, and I can only hope the universe gets this right and grants them with what they more than deserve.

I'll leave you with some of what I think are the funniest things people say to pregnant ladies.  My favorite has to be, "You can't even tell you're pregnant from behind!" - well, thank God!  I'm not carrying this child in my ass!  I think they're trying to find a way to tell you that you look good, even if/when you don't...but if you CAN tell you're pregnant from your backside, I'd ask the doctor about that.  Another all time favorite (and this just may be me), is when I've been told I'm 'glowing'.  Little do they know, I just bought a new bronzer ;0)

Food of the 25th - 28th week =

                              

Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes.

Pregnant ladies shouldn't paint...and it's not due to the fumes!

Wow.  My procrastination skills are really showing off this past month or so!  Sorry about that, things have been a little busy around the Wagner household; we've both started our new jobs and we're getting things together for Reid's nursery (slowly!).  Speaking of, I need a second to vent.  Anyone else out there not able to complete a home project with their spouse without wanting to drop everything and call your lawyer to start filing for divorce?!  We've had three drop-down-drag-out fights in the past six years and they occurred with we put together our entertainment center, our IKEA furniture (don't get me started on those damn 'directions'!), and painting the trim just now for Reid's room.  I never understood why people paid other people to paint for them, it seems so simple.  I 100% understand it now...they're saving themselves from World War III!  But, after a few hours of a lot of cursing, sighing, and eye rolling, the trim and doors are painted....and our marriage is intact!  Thank goodness my dad is painting the walls (although I think that would've been much easier!).  I'll post pictures of the nursery when it's all finished, which will be around the beginning of November (hopefully!).  

Speaking of pictures, I have some updates!  Enjoy!

Here I am at 20 weeks...HALF WAY!

Profile view @ 22 weeks...he has momma's nose!!

22 Week 3D - kind of hard to make out, but it's a side view of his lil' face!

22 Weeks 3D...FEET!! Look at those lil' toes! 

So I'm about 22.5 weeks along as I write this, and I'm over being pregnant!!  Don't get me wrong...I couldn't be happier this happened for us (and so quickly at that), but I'm ready to stop feeling like hell for most of the day, and more than anything else, I want to meet Reid SO badly!  December/January feels SOO far away from now.  I was super excited when I had to add another blanket to the bed in the middle of the night last night though, because the colder it gets, the closer we get to meeting our little man!  Let it snow, let it snow, let it SNOW!  ;-)

As I mentioned above, I've been feeling like hell, but it's not that bad I suppose.  But when it's bad...it's bad.  I've had some days where I feel like a million bucks and feel like I could do anything, and other days, I just want to lay in bed and not see a single soul.  One symptom that is COMPLETELY gone (YEA!!) is those nasty headaches!  Turns out it wasn't from being pregnant, but because we have mold in our air conditioners! Not exactly happy about that, but an easy (and expensive!) fix.  And lil' Reid is already a pain in my ass, literally.  I've noticed that when I stand for quite a while and then sit down to rest, when I get back up...well, I can't!  My sciatic nerve is really acting up!  Oh, and my emotions are getting even more out of control...damn hormones!  I've started crying over very simple things the last two days in a row, and can't stop!  I mean, I go into full-on bawling, and can't stop!!  

But other than that I've been doing pretty well...welllll....there was that trip to the ER a few weeks ago!  I fainted twice while getting my hair done (at the salon!  how embarrassing!!).  We went straight to the ER and turns out I just too much sugar/carbs for breakfast without enough protein and my sugar dropped too fast.  But while we were there they discovered I also had a kidney infection...hmmm, no wonder my back hurt so bad!  And I've had another one since then, so I've been on antibiotics for about a month straight.  I hope Reid doesn't come out immune to every antibiotic available!  

And after the fiasco that was the ER visit (trying to get a hold of my OB to get discharged, and she was the doc on-call, kept us there about 3 hours longer than needed be), we finally were able to change doctors! We LOVE our new doctor!  I really felt like he took the time to answer all my questions (some of which I knew the answers to, but wanted to hear it from his mouth rather than babycenter.com!) without acting like I was wasting his time, much like our old doctor did!  So anyone in the southwest suburbs of Chicago in search of a good OB/GYN, see Drs. Flosi and Doha - they're amazing!  

I leave you with the traditional fruit/veggie of the week that is the size our lil' boy!  (at the ultrasound we just had he weighed in a whopping 1lb 1oz!  Since I've been procrastinating, I've missed an onion, sweet potato, mango, cantaloupe, banana, and here we are at 22-24 weeks as a.... papaya!

Snips and snails, and puppy dog tails!

All of those ladies out there that say the second trimester is all flowers and butterflies, never had a chest cold that lasted 2+ weeks and daily headaches that border on migraine status. Don't get me wrong, I'm seriously happy the nausea has passed, but these headaches are killer!  Sometimes drinking a little caffeine will do the trick, which is more than Tylenol will EVER do.  And as for the chest cold...when it rains, it pours as they say, right?!  Just when I was getting used to sleeping more than 4-5 hours a night (the one thing I've been thankful for from the 2nd trimester!), I can't stop coughing when I lay down, which in turn, brings on NASTY headaches.  Needless to say, I've been a miserable mess lately!  But one horrible symptom that has pretty much disappeared is the constipation.  Thank the Lord!!  I was beginning to think I wasn't going to be able to push this baby out if I couldn't even poop!  

Talking about all these lovely symptoms, one may get the idea that I'm not enjoying being pregnant.  That's not the case at all!  Of course I'm loving it - but I'm definitely more excited about the end result than I am about my current state.  I hate to complain since I wanted this so bad - I feel like other infertiles out there reading this might think I'm ungrateful, or that they'd do anything to have morning sickness and constipation.  Trust me, I know how you feel, I was there not that long ago.  And while I am very thankful for my headaches and inability to have a bowl movement on a regular basis, it's a day to day struggle to remind myself of this!

Speaking of all the symptoms, I've been thinking about all the lovely ones that come along with labor and delivery.  This is mostly due to the fact that I've had the summer off work and can't help but watch TLC on a daily basis.  Those 'Baby Story' shows have a whole new spin on them these days!  I watch in complete horror now.  Adam walked in the room when I was watching one that featured a particularly horrific 'natural birth' (sorry, there's nothing natural about that!), and said I looked like I had just seen a ghost!

So I've been talking about my fears lately with family members (mostly since it's all I can think about these days!) and for the most part everyone has been very supportive and told me it's going to be okay, and not as bad as I think (I'm well aware they're all lying to me).  But, if you notice, I said for the most part they've been supportive.  My husband's aunt is the exception to this.  We were all out for a family get together last weekend and when it came up in conversation that I'm a little nervous about labor/delivery, instead of the typical comforting phrases every always says ('Your body is meant to do this', 'It's all worth it in the end', 'You'll be on such a high you won't feel a thing'...blah, blah, blah), she proceeds to tell me every gory and horrific detail of her agonizing experience giving birth to her son.  And I'm talking details...very specific details...very visual details.  I about threw up at the table where we were sitting.  Good thing pregnant women pee a lot because it gave me a great excuse to get the hell out of there!

Well, since we're on the topic of the lil' peanut arriving in about 5 months or so - let's get to the best news this blog has experienced since I announced our first round of IVF worked....the sex of the baby!!!  We had the gender-cake party with our parents this past weekend.  It all started with the ultrasound two days before the party.  The ultrasound tech found the sex within seconds of putting the wand-thingy on my stomach, so we all had our ideas of what that meant ;-).  I drove the sealed envelope straight to the bakery and ordered the cake to have either pink or blue icing in the inside.  Those were the longest two days!!  Well, I'll cut to the chase;  I cut into the cake and...well, see for yourself! ;-)

IT'S A BOY!!!   Reid Douglas will be his name...so no more "Lil' Peanut"!! :)  Adam didn't stop smiling all night!  He couldn't sleep and wound up coming to bed at 4:30am still smiling.  I asked him what he was smiling about, and his response was, "We're having a boy!".  He's so cute!  He was talking about all the things he can't wait to do with him; Bears, Bulls, and Hawks games, golfing, etc.  I sure hope Reid is a jock, or he's going to have one bored daddy ;-)

Well Reid has definitely made his presence know - I feel HUGE (I know it's only going to get worse!) and I can feel him kicking stronger and stronger every day!  I love feeling the little flutters - such a neat feeling.  I somehow doubt I'll feel the same when he's jabbing my bladder and ribs in a few months!  

Here's a picture of my 16 week belly - taken the night we found out the lil' guy is a lil' guy! 

And I'll leave you with the food of the week that resembles Reid's size.  

Watch what you say... tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean the little one can now pick up your voice. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. And, if you're interested, an ultrasound might be able to determine gender.

"Well, she's not as big as you yet"...

Whew!  It's been a while, but I've been BEYOND crazy busy, so I apologize!  It's been a non-stop summer so far, but I finally have down time to do nothing, and I'm loving every minute of it!  Adam and I went on vacation to visit my aunt in Minnesota for a week a few weeks ago.  We left on the day I hit the 12 week mark, so that was exciting!  It was a great trip full of boating, fishing, good eats, a Twins game, and of course, SHOPPING!  By the way, A Pea in the Pod is a phenomenal store - a  little expensive, but the clothes are so soft and fit so well!  It was also an amazing trip because all my 'lovely' lil' peanut symptoms disappeared!  But, it must have been the Minnesota air, because it seemed that as we were crossing the Illinois state line I started feeling like losing my lunch again.  I was home for no more than 24 hours and was on the road again - this time a straight through drive to North Carolina to drop my little brother off at camp.  Nothing like a weeks worth of road trips to ease morning sickness...blah.  Since I've been back (just a few days now), my nausea actually seems to be getting worse/more intense, so I don't know what's up with that!

I think the biggest fear I've had beyond all the obvious/typical fears that come along with a pregnancy is all the weight gain.  I'm not exactly a 'skinny' girl, but I'm not obese either - but hearing stories of women gaining 60+  pounds would probably put me close to that category!  But, I'm proud to say, I haven't gained any weight yet!  I had a doctor's appointment and she didn't mention anything about it, so I'm assuming it's still okay at this point to not have gained.  I'm sure it'll catch up and even out at some point though - that would be my luck!  I have on the other hand, added 10+ inches to my belly!!  I'm only 14 weeks and I look like I'm in my 3rd trimester already!  When I was shopping on vacation I was asking a sales woman if they had a maternity section and a conversation ensued about her daughter also being pregnant, but she 'wasn't as big' as me yet...wonderful.  I was hoping she wasn't going to ask how far along I was, because I totally would've lied and said, 'Oh, I'm due next week!'  I feel like I'm still in that, "is she fat, or pregnant?" stage, so I've started touching my belly when I feel people looking at me trying to figure it out, because I figure fat people don't like to touch their bellies, right?!  Anyways - below is a picture of me the day before we left on vacation, so the day before I turned 12 weeks! - I'm already bigger than this picture!  (Sorry the quality stinks - it was a cell phone shot)

Those that know me know that I'm a fairly impatient person...well, VERY impatient actually.  Remember, I'm the girl that was trying on wedding dresses  before I was even engaged (my mother told me it was okay, so I'm not 100% taking ownership of that!).  So of course it's KILLING me to have to wait another month to figure out the sex of the lil' peanut.  Soooo, after some research, I found an independent ultrasound place near us that will do gender determination sonograms as early as 15 weeks, and it's only $70!  So technically I could be finding out next week if lil' peanut is a girl or boy, but I have to wait another week (grrrr...) because my in-laws will be on vacation.  We're going to do the 'cake-thing', as it has become fondly known as in my family, to announce the sex.  If you're unaware of what this is - read on.  When we go in to have the ultrasound, we'll ask the tech write the sex down on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope (Adam is having a hard time coming to grips with this; he wants to know right then, right there), and then I'll take that envelope to a bakery, who will then bake a cake with either pink or blue cake.  We're going to have our parents come up our way for dinner and we'll cut into the 'mystery cake' in front of everyone, so we'll all find out at the same time!  I think it's more fun and exciting than sitting in a dark room with goopy stuff on my belly while a stranger tells us, "it's a girl!" (I've had two dreams so far that it's a girl - and they were in Minnesota, where good things happened to my body, so I'm going with it!).  Our family is pretty excited for it too!  But I'm going to have to ask the bakery to duct tape the cake box shut or I'll be too tempted to do a little finger-swipe of frosting! ;-)

Well since I missed a week or so, I'll just a do a quick update on the food-of-the-week:

Week 12 = Plum
Week 13 = Peach

And here we are at week 14:  The Lemon!

        
Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.

Worry, worry, worry...and worry some more!

Talk about 'pregnancy brain'!  I have forgotten to update this in almost 2 weeks...oops!  Honestly though, there's not much new going on.  I'm still having the same 'wonderful' symptoms I was last time I wrote, and honestly, I think the nausea is getting worse :-/  I am definitely tired ALL the time, and still constipated (I think that is the worst of them all!).  I have started to show though, so that's fun!  I'm still in that 'is she pregnant, or just fat?' stage though, so I'm ready to get over that hump!  I had to go shopping for maternity pants since none of my regular pants fit me anymore!  I love reasons to go shopping (not that I really needed any before!).

I've also discovered that parties aren't as much fun as they used to be!  We had some friends over for a cookout this past weekend and I kept up with the fun for about two hours.  I just wasn't getting as much fun out of my water as they were out of their beverages!  But, I think a baby is well worth skipping 9 months of boozin', so I'll more than willing to deal with my drunk friends! ;-)

So the last time I updated I was 9 weeks, and by this upcoming Friday (24th) I'll be 12 weeks...wooohoo!!  I honestly thought when all this started I wouldn't be seeing this week.  I don't know if it's because of the hard work it took to get here, but I just didn't think it'd happen and 'stick'.  I'm still catching myself referring to the baby in terms of 'if' rather than 'when' (only in my head, not in conversations...that'd be kind of weird I suppose; "If the baby is born..."...yeah.), so I'm not totally over that hump of worry.  But I don't think I honestly ever will be.  My mother had a pretty normal pregnancy when I was in third grade (other than being very, very sick all 9 months), and she found out she lost him on the due date.  So until I am holding that baby in my arms, nothing is guaranteed (this is also part of the reason I told everyone I knew that we were pregnant withing hours of getting the doctor's call confirming it; reaching 12 weeks doesn't really mean much to me because I know from person experience you're not 'out of the woods' then).  And even after he/she is born I'll be worrying about him/her reaching all their developmental milestones and if they don't, I'll convince myself they have some obscure disease or syndrome. I just recently took a course to get my Special Education endorsement (I'm an elementary teacher, in case you didn't know that!), and parts of the course were about syndromes and diseases that don't appear for years, or something that happens beyond your control because it's genetic.  I'm now freaking out about all the genetic testing that will be coming up in my next few appointments because of this.  I know it's super rare for things like that to happen, and the majority of babies are born happy and healthy, but I'm sure the parents of those children with rare conditions didn't think it would happen to them either.  Ugh...this parenting thing is scary stuff!

Anyways, let's move on to the food comparisons that I've missed! :-)
   
With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)



Your fetus currently enjoys a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through. But, fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.



As you move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby's systems are fully formed.




The lime reminds me of the party we had this weekend - as I was getting my water out of the fridge one of my friends was grabbing a lime for their beer, and I blurted out, "That's how big the baby is this week!"...everyone kind of looked at me like, "oooo...ok".  Guess they're not as excited as I am about my little lime! ;-)

No more nausea = bring on the cravings!

This week...I feel like a new person!  I finally got relief from the nausea that was hanging around me all day long, every day.  At my last appointment with the IVF clinic (so sad to leave them), I asked the nurse practitioner about the anit-nausea meds and she said since I wasn't barfing I couldn't get it.  I was so mad!  I felt like sticking my finger down my throat right there in the office and saying, 'so...can I now?!'.  I was released from them to start seeing my OB that same week and I thought I'd try another doctor for the meds - I kind of felt like one of those people hopping from doc to doc asking for pain meds...eek!  So as the doc is about to walk out of the room after seeing me I squeeze in, 'umm...is there anything I can take the nausea, it's getting really bad, and I feel horrible ALL THE TIME now.'  She responds immediately, "Oh yeah, sure!  I'll write you a prescription for Zofran, no problem!"  HALLELUJAH!!!  So it pays to ask a 2nd time ladies!

So as I mentioned above, I'm no longer seeing the docs and nurses at the IVF clinic.  I wish I could stay with them the whole time, but I guess it's only their job to get me knocked up and then they ditch me...sounds like a horrible loser-boyfriend if you ask me! ;)  Just kidding ladies, I love you all and will miss you!  If anyone in the Chicago area is looking for fertility help and don't know where to start, I can't stress enough that Chicago IVF is the way to go.  The entire staff of doctors, nurses, techs, and receptionists, are amazing and caring people.  We literally wouldn't be having a baby without them!

My new OB office is HORRIBLE and I think that makes me miss everyone at Chicago IVF even more.  I waited over 2 hours for my first appointment and the doctor saw me for about 3 minutes.  Our insurance is changing in August though, so I'm changing doctors the second that kicks in!  So I only have to see this doctor one more time.  It's kind of weird that I'm only having doctor appointments once a month now since I was having them weekly with CIVF!  I'll definitely miss all those ultrasounds and getting to see our lil' peanut so often.  I did get to have an ultrasound this past week though since I had some more spotting (this is getting really old, let me tell you!).  I actually got to see the lil' peanut move this time!!  I was watching the screen and it lifted up it's head and kicked one of it's tiny little feet!!!  I think that made it more real for me than hearing the heartbeat honestly.

The lil' peanut lost it's tail this week and you can see the beginning of little feet!  And I'm pretty sure you can see fingers in this one!  I only counted four, but I'm telling myself they're still too small to count, or one is hiding! ;)  

Oh, and the cravings have kicked in!  Tapioca pudding is ranking in at the #1 craving so far.  But it has to be the Jewel brand...haha, who knows.  I'm eating a giant tub of it in a few days.  I actually got upset yesterday at the store when I went to buy two tubs of it and they only had one left!  Who is buying all the tapioca pudding...and store-brand at that?!  Oh, and peanut-butter-chocolate shakes (from Oberweis) are the #2 craving.  MMmmm...that sounds so good right now. I might have Adam make a pit-stop on his way home from work today!  ;) 

Food of the week.....

                                    
Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like... well... a baby!

"It looks like a foot..."

There really isn't much to update this week - same old stuff, different week!  I'm still nauseated all the time, and my sense of smell has helped contribute to that lovely side effect on a minute by minute basis!  The recliner I'm sitting in right now had something spilled on it (hubby won't 'fess up!) that smells God-awful, but no amount of Febreeze will get rid of it!  I think Adam might have done this on purpose to have total control of the recliner for the next 7 months...sneaky!

The mood swings are a little better, but this may be a better question to ask Adam!  I'm crying over everything though.  Pamper commercials are the absolute worst, and there is a Special Olympics one right now that makes me bawl every time.  Maybe all this crying will help me from having to pee so much...or is that just wishful thinking? :-/

I had some more spotting in week 7, but the nurses seem to think everything is still okay!  They said some women just have unexplained spotting during the first trimester.  I told a few friends this and they in turn told me they knew someone that spotted all 9 months...if that's the case with me, this is going to be a VERY long pregnancy!!

We had an appointment the day after I started spotting, so that was comforting.  We got to see the little peanut again and hear the heartbeat, which is now at 147!  Below is the sonogram picture we took home from the appointment.  I can see it right away, but it took others some convincing (i.e., my mother: "it looks like a foot"), but if you look closely at the blob (baby!) to the left of the inside of the sac, you can see at the top: the head, complete with eye, nose, and chin!, the two little arm-nubs sticking out, and then at the bottom, the 'tail'!

This past Friday (May 27th) I was 8 weeks, which means the lil' peanut is now the size of a raspberry! 

                           
Your baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy. 


Quick side note: completing a baby registry for showers is crazy-overwhelming!  I haven't started it yet (way too early for that craziness!), but my mother-in-law wants to buy our stroller so I had to let her know which one we wanted early on in case there are sales.  Just trying to decide on a stroller was much more stressful and time-consuming than deciding on dishes or bed sheets like we had to for our wedding registry!  We spent four hours at Bed Bath & Beyond when we did our wedding registry, so I can only imagine the hours that will go into this!  Just thinking about it makes me want to cry! ;)

Week 6: Symptoms x 100,000,000

I can barely keep my eyes open long enough to find my computer, let alone write a blog posting, so this might be short and sweet!  Obviously the pure and utter exhaustion has fully set in!  I come home from work and nap until dinner and then usually go to sleep for the night shortly afterwards.  I've also become quite the light sleeper as well...just ask my husband who has been forced to sleep in the second bedroom on an air mattress the whole week due to his snoring...poor guy. 

Speaking of poor guy, the mood swings are also in full gear...have to love those raging hormores :-/  The tiniest thing gets on my last nerve these days.  For example, as I'm sitting here typing this post I have my windows open and all I can hear is this SUPER annoying woman (or man?) laughing outside, and it is possibly the worst laugh I've ever heard...ever.  I'm about half a second away from yelling out the window to tell her/him to knock it off. 

And the lovely nausea is here 24/7 now.  I haven't thrown up yet, knock on wood.  But I did find a semi-cure to keep the spins and God-awful feeling at bay - http://www.biobands.com/ - I HIGHLY recommend these to anyone with morning (all day!) sickness or motion sickness - they're amazing!  I only take mine off to shower now.  It works using accupressure - not sure if that's what's actually doing the trick or if my brain just thinks that's the case; either way...I'm in love with this ugly little bracelet!

Oh, and I'm peeing.  A lot.  Like, all the time.

I almost forgot!!  We got to hear the heartbeat last week!  Since I'm still seeing the IVF clinic for my appointments I get to do things more often and earlier than most normal pregnancies - no complaints here!  We got to see the little peanut again...looking more like a grain of rice this time though!  And the heartbeat was a strong and healthy 112 bpm!  We have another appointment this upcoming Monday and we'll get to see and hear the heartbeat again! 

As of tomorow I'll be 7 weeks (time is CRAWLING!!).  I forgot to post the fruit/food picture for week 6, but it was the size of a sweet pea...how cute!   Below is the fruit of the week this week! :) 

                                                  
                          
Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about 100 new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.

Hard to think that it's only the size of a blueberry...yet I swear I'm already showing; that's not fair!  I'm sure I'm just bloated from another lovely symptom of pregnancy: constipation...ugh.  I can't wait to actually get a real baby-bump so people can stop looking at my bloated stomach and wonder to themselves, "is she already showing, or was she always this fat?!"

Well, I'm off to squeeze in a small nap before the husband gets home with dinner!  I'll probably dream about 'going Sybil' on my obnoxious neighbor!

And the worrying begins...only another, ehh...rest of my life, right?!

I honestly can say that I didn't think this would turn into a pregnancy blog so soon after I started it as an infertility blog!  I'm not complaining though!  I wish our luck and ease through this process to anyone out there going through the same thing.  I've heard so many stories of it going both ways (as we all have! "my aunt's neighbor's cousin's daughter..." Ugh.) and I wish all of you only the best in your journey!

All that being said, I'm doing well and am currently 5 weeks 5 days preggers!  I'm feeling pretty good other than not being able to sleep more than 3-4 hours a night, my back aching all the time, exhausted 24 hours a day, my hips throbbing (not sure why that is happening so early!), my overactive sense of smell that has started triggering my gag reflex (although I think anyone would gag at left over Little Caesar's pizza in the trash!), and the nausea that comes and goes as it pleases.  Yeah, other than that, I feel great! ;)  I'm just thankful I haven't actually puked...yet. There is nothing in this world I despise more than vomiting.  I would take a migraine headache for a week straight than ever having to puke again.

So as I'm sure you've noticed, the blog picture this week is a positive pregnancy test.  Yes, I had my positive results confirmed by the doctor's office through a blood test...and yes, I went out and bought a home pregnancy test after that!  I have been waiting forever to see one of those damn things turn positive, you better believe it that I proudly walked through Fertile Myrtle Target and bought one!  As soon as I got home I took it and it turned positive immediately!  Even though I knew it was going to, I still was a little nervous, but so completely and utterly excited to see that 'up and down' line form!! 

We had our first ultrasound earlier this week as well!  You can't see much - just a black spot.  We said it kind of looked like a peanut, so that's where the nickname for this blog and our future baby came from!  That black blob is just the gestational sac, so no baby yet, but we'll hopefully see the lil' peanut in our next one.

And what would becoming a mother be without freaking out and worrying to death?!  I began worrying the minute I heard I was pregnant, but nothing prepared me for what happened yesterday, to say the least. I had been cramping all morning and when I went to the bathroom that afternoon I saw the one thing no pregnant woman EVER wants to see...blood.  I flipped.  I called the doctor right away and they got me in for the next morning (today).  I wanted to be seen at that very moment, but seeing as how they were only 30 minutes away from closing and I'm probably not the first woman that has called them hysterical, I decided I could probably wait until the morning.  So after a very long night with no sleep we went in this morning and everything looked great; the gestational sac doubled in size since Monday and my hcg levels are now over 5000.  They think the spotting might be from my progesterone supplements irritating my cervix, and the cramping might be implantation cramping still.  So I'm just taking it easy and relaxing for the next couple of days.  Unfortunately, I am all caught up on True Blood now, so I'm extremely bored!

I'm going to try to update at least once a week so everyone can keep up on my progress and so I can vent about all my lovely symptoms I'm having!  I'll also include what size the baby is compared to a piece of food and what stage of development it's at (this is from thebump.com)...thanks to my girlfriend Stefanie for the idea that I stole from her blog! :)  So this week, our little peanut is the size of an apple seed...how cute!

                        
"Your embryo (looking kind of like a tadpole) is starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive). Baby's presence in your uterus triggers production of hCG (the hormone detected by pregnancy tests)... which triggers production of other hormones like estrogen and progesterone... which trigger all those great symptoms you've probably been noticing!"

So again, thank you for all the kind words and wishes on here and my Facebook page!  Keep it up, because if this spotting keeps up I'll need something to keep me sane and grounded!

Drum Roll Please......

I haven't been able to sleep lately; surprise, surprise, but last night I was actually able to get some solid z's.  I was having a crazy vivid nightmare (not about vampires as one might think!) so when I woke up I made myself stay awake so I didn't fall back into it...looking back, reading news updates about Osama Bin Laden probably didn't help with falling back asleep peacefully!  When I finally did conk back out I had a dream that I dug through my bathroom trash and found that useless pregnancy test from a week or so ago.  I re-peed on it and it turned...positive!  I woke up pretty soon after that and just knew I was pregnant.  I haven't had any 'feelings' like that this whole two weeks, actually quite the opposite. I figured there was no way we'd get lucky enough for this to take the first time. 

I woke up this morning almost sick to my stomach with anxiety.  Every time I thought about getting that phone call after I went in for the blood test my stomach just dropped.  The nurses at the office commented multiple times about how pale I looked (I told them I'm always this pasty, so not to worry), but I think they still thought I might follow suit with my husband and pass out, as they were asking me questions to keep me distracted as the needle went in...I love my nurses :)  They said they'd call me as soon as they got the results; just a few hours....which felt like DAYS!

I kept myself occupied with a girlfriend of mine after the appointment, as I knew I'd go insane if I just went home and did nothing (this might have been a great opportunity for my house to be cleaned though!).  We were at lunch when I got 'the' phone call.  I think my nurse enjoyed teasing me a little bit with, "Hi Jade, this is Carla....with the doctor's office....I have your test results.....(very long pause, or so it seemed!)....you're pregnant!"  With a mouth-full of french fries, I immediately starting crying and semi-hyperventilating.  Carla told me that I could call her back later because I was probably going to forget everything she was about to tell me with the details regarding my levels and appointments. She was right...I called back about an hour later!

So I'm 4 weeks along, 5 weeks on Friday the 6th!  The math on that doesn't make much sense to me, but I'm trusting the doctors know what they're talking about!  So that puts our due date at January 6th.  We'll find out if we're having one or two sometime next week hopefully, once they do the first ultrasound, and then we'll hear the heartbeat(s) the following week!  A possible clue to there being two:  my hcg levels are pretty darn high; 283.  My nurse told me when she was pregnant with her son her levels were 38.  So I asked if that was a predictor to twins or not, and she said it's possible, but she's seen women with high levels have a single as well.  But...my crazy 're-pee-on-an-old-pregnancy-test' dream last night must have included a pregnancy test from the future, because it showed 2 positive lines, and in my dream that meant it was twins...so we'll see!  Maybe Adam should head over to a casino in the near future ;)

Thank you all again for the support and kind words on here and my facebook wall!  I knew I had great friends and family, but you've all proven yourself to be quite an amazing bunch!  Adam and I really appreciate it and love you all dearly!  I suppose I'll be changing the name of this blog soon, as I seemingly beat infertility...so yeah....Screw you, infertility...I WON!! :)

Spring: flowers, babies, and vampires.

I've always loved Spring; the weather starts to warm up, the trees and flowers start to bloom (and until this year I have never had allergies!), the grass turns green again, the weather is perfect, and there's cute little baby bunnies and geese everywhere.  Spring is a definitely a season of 'rebirth' in this regard, and apparently this year it is for humans as well.  While I was at Target yesterday I decided to keep a running tally in my head of how many pregnant women I'd see.  I was there for a little less than an hour and saw 6...SIX...pregnant women.  It was like every isle I turned down there was another one...sort of like a horror movie where every exit the screaming girl is heading for turns up another zombie/monster/killer.  Even my shopping items weren't safe; I was looking at the clearance racks and it seemed like every shirt I picked up was a maternity shirt.  I'm about to lock myself in damn house! 

Bed rest went pretty well this past week.  I was bored out of my mind, but became pretty used to bossing my husband around :)  It also helped facilitate my new addiction to the HBO series True Blood.  I'm already having some pretty crazy dreams because of the hormones I'm taking right now, but adding hot vampires to the mix really creates some interesting stuff!  Bed rest also helped create my obsession with googling every single symptom I'm having and associating it with 'early pregnancy signs'.  For example...if I had gas a little more than normal (probably more related to the gyro I ate than a baby in my stomach!), I'd google, 'gas +early pregnancy symptom'...it's really getting out of control!  Every time I feel a twinge or ping of pain I immediately run to the computer and google it.  It's amazing what you'll find out there!

I went in for my progesterone level test on Friday.  Everything came out well and I'm right where they want me to be.  The nurse told me my estrogen levels are pretty high (to which Adam responds, "I KNOW."); they want me to be at 100 or above and I'm nearly at 500.  So of course, before I could even hang up the phone, there I was on my computer googling, 'high estrogen levels +early pregnancy symptoms'.  Turns out...IT IS a symptom!!  :)

Along with the high estrogen I'm also having other symptoms as well, but it's so hard to tell if it's from the progesterone or something else.  I'm nauseated A LOT, my sense of smell is out of this world (but I've always had a very strong sense of smell), and I'm craving really weird foods (hard boiled eggs and Burger King fries...not together though!), but I'm not interested in foods I'd normally love to eat.  I can't sleep through the night very well (this may be due to my husband's horrible snoring though), but I'm exhausted throughout the day (this may be due to my husband's snoring as well!). 

So with all this taken into consideration, I did what I was told not to do...buy a home pregnancy test while I was at Fertile Myrtle Target yesterday.  I bought the box with only one test inside since I figured I didn't need to stock up on them like I have in the past since I'm going in for a blood test next week to confirm.  So I got home and immediately went to the bathroom.  I sat there and waited...and waited.....and waited.........and waited.  Nothing happened!!  The stupid test never gave me a result!!!  There was a faint negative line, but there absolutely no line in the control window part.  Of all the pregnancy tests I've taken in the last two years, and that's a lot folks, I've never had one simply not give me a result!  And since I only bought one test, I didn't have another one to try.  Of course I pulled it out of the garbage every time I went to the bathroom last night, but it was the same stupid blank test that it was every time before.  Guess that was a sign that I'm really supposed to wait until next Monday. :(

So until next Monday (May 2nd!) I guess I'll just have to accept seeing pregnant bellies everywhere I go, continue googling every 'symptom' I have, and keep my mind off of it all by dreaming about sexy vampires that live in Louisiana.  ;) 

**Happy Easter everyone!** :)

"She Works Hard For Her Babies..."

As I'm writing this right now I'm on bed rest with two embryos floating around in my uterus...yea!!!  The implantation went very smoothly this morning.  My nerves were the worst part, by far.  I was awake for the whole thing, which I was sort of freaked out about, but then come to find out, it doesn't hurt at all.  It's just like an annual exam...except the bed you're laying in is tipped almost completely upside down!  Between the ultrasound guy pushing on my belly (with a very full bladder...ouch!) and being tipped so far back that all the blood was rushing to my head, I think it went pretty well.  There was music playing in the procedure room (I thought this only happened on ER and Grey's Anatomy!) and as the doctor was doing his thing down there the Donna Summers song 'She Works Hard For the Money' came on...I was singing it to myself as my future children were being placed in my uterus, and changed the lyrics to "she works hard for her babies..."...I told you infertility is making me lose my mind! ;) 

The doctor met with us before the procedure and showed us the picture of the two embryos that were doing the best -- which is the picture in this blog(!!).  He said they look for embryos between 6-8 cells to implant and the two they implanted are 8 and 7 cells, so things are looking good!  They'll freeze the others if they develop more over the next week (they were only 5, 5, and 4 cells so far).  Adam, aka Mr. Statistics, wanted to know what the percentages of all this working out are.  The doctor said there's no way to tell with me specifically, but said overall, anyone under 35 has a 50-55% success rate.  He said this number decreases to only 15% if you're over 35...so to everyone that said I was 'too young' to be doing this...HA.  ;)  AND...he mentioned that there's a 25% chance of both taking and having twins. As Adam put it, that's like betting the middle third on the roulette table, or how many times pocket aces will get beat in poker.  Only my husband would compare our chances of getting pregnant to a night in Vegas.  ;) 

Bed rest is going well...it's been about 3 hours and I'm bored out of my mind!  I don't really mind bossing my husband around though - that I could get used to ;)  

So for now it's just waiting for May 2nd to roll around.  If that test turns out positive (crossing fingers, toes, and anything else that can possibly cross), we'll go back a week or two later to find out if it's one or twins!  Of course, Adam thinks without a doubt it'll be twins...then again, he loves to gamble and he always thinks he'll be a winner. ;)

Michael Jackson makes it into this post somehow...

Retrieval went well yesterday!  After about an hour of waiting past when we were supposed to be getting the show on the road they finally called me back.  The worst part of it all was the stupid IV...I believe I got the world's worst nurse for this....ouch!  My nerves were all over the place and I was STARVING, not a good combination!  And then they walk me back to the surgical room and I see this giant surgical bed with two huge stirrups to place my feet up in the air...I about threw up my heart!  But within minutes of laying down I was out and it seemed like minutes later I was waking up hearing the surgical nurse telling the recovery nurse what meds I was on for the procedure, and she mentioned Propofol.  Seeing as how I act like I'm wasted when I'm waking up from anesthesia, I say the first thing that comes to mind; "Isn't that what Michael Jackson died from?"...the nurse laughed at me and said, 'yesss'...and I passed out again.  Lovely. 

The pain wasn't too horrible, just felt like suuuuper bad menstrual cramps all day (but they gave me morphine in the hospital, best part about all of this!)  Later that day one of my best friends, who's a nurse, came over to give me my first progesterone shot.  I was so scared for this since it's a much bigger needle than I've been handling lately, it goes a lot deeper, and the medicine is in oil...once again, not a good combination!  But she's amazing and I didn't even feel it go in...but now my hip hurts so bad I'm wobbling around like a little old lady!

So I just got the all-important phone call from one of the nurses with our embryo update.  They were able to retrieve 10 eggs, 6 were mature, and 5 fertilized and are growing.  Five...we have five babies growing in a dish!  Soooo weird.  It feels kind of nice to not have to worry about being responsible for them for another few days, they're all in the hands of the embryologists, the first of their many babysitters, I'm sure.  We go in Monday to have two of the five implanted, and then they'll freeze three of them for our future rounds (if needed). 

As if you'd expect anything less out of me, my obsession with baby thoughts has become nothing but stronger every day.  I woke up the other night to go to the bathroom around 2am.  I was dreaming about something non-baby related, but my first thought (you know how you're still kind of in dream land when you get up like that?), was picturing my future conversation with my OB asking if we had twins naturally or through IVF.  I'm loosing it!  My husband is beyond convinced we're having twins, the eternal optimist that he is.  I'm glad that he's there to counteract my negativity.  It's hard to think positively about all of this when so far, nothing has been successful.  But then again, it's hard to imagine why this wouldn't work.  There are a million scenarios to consider.  For example, my dad works for an OB/GYN and she has a patient right now who had both of her IVF embryo's 'take', and one split naturally, so she's having triplets and two of them are identical...could you imagine?!?! 

At the same time it's really hard to not get pumped up about this and expect/want the best.  I went into BuyBuyBaby the other day with some girlfriends (if you've never heard of it, it's a Bed Bath & Beyond, but ALL baby stuff...a deathtrap for an infertile woman).  I couldn't help but pass up all the nursery stuff and want to pick stuff out.  I secretly (well not anymore!) go online and google 'how to decorate a nursery for girl/boy twins'.  I know, I know...I'm not even pregnant yet, but this is coming from the girl who was trying on wedding dresses before my husband proposed to me! I'm a planner...what can I say?!  ;)

Well, for now it's just wait until Monday morning, and then bed rest until Thursday morning.  We go in on May 2nd for our pregnancy test.  May 2nd will be the longest day of my life, for sure.  After Monday think 'sticky baby thoughts' for me and my husband, please! :)  Thank you all for your support though all of this as well, we really appreciate it!  What wonderful friends and family we have!  ...Now those of you that are doctors or pharmacists...could you look into getting me a refund on 10+ years of birth control that I apparently never needed?! ;)

"Do you have any idea what your father and I went through to have you?!"

I FINALLY got the phone call I've been waiting for!  Retrieval is scheduled for Friday morning and implantation is on Monday!  I feel like I've been sitting by the phone all day just staring at it!  I can't imagine what I'll do with myself during the dreaded "two week wait"...uuugghh!!

So far, so good with the meds and appointments.  I'm having crazy headaches from one of the meds, and the bloating of the belly started today, which lead to shortness of breath anytime I did anything other than sit...so it's been a pretty boring day around here!  ...my future kid(s) will be reminded daily of what I went through in order to have them!  :)

I'll keep you all updated with details of how retrieval went (as soon as I'm not dopey from the drugs...then again, that could make for an interesting post!), and then with implantation. And I'm sure there will be plenty of  "I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER!!" kind of posts during that two week wait! 

Wish me luck everyone!  I can't believe I'm excited about a giant hollow needle sucking eggs out of my ovaries!  Yikes!! :-/  And my poor husband will be busy providing the other half of our future children while I'm knocked out and on a surgical table...so he needs some wishes of luck as well!  This time Friday night the next generation of Wagners will be conceiving in a peti dish!  ...how romantic. ;)

Injections, anxiety, and jealousy...oh my!

Sorry it's been a while since I've updated (it's only been a week, so not too bad I suppose!) but there really hasn't been much to update.  Other than the fact that my stomach looks like it was in a fight with a tiny fairy with needle-sized fists, or that my arm looks like that of a heroin addicts...things are going well!  The doctors have upped my meds quite a bit, but so far just a small allergic reaction around the injection site is the only negative; nothing a little Benadryl can't handle!  Good news is, it's looking like retrieval of the eggs will be later this week (I was told Thursday or Friday) and there are about 20 mature eggs so far...YIKES!  They'll take all of them and freeze the ones they don't implant just in case this round isn't successful or for our future attempts to get pregnant...not sure I want 20 children though! ;) 

I also apologize if my last blog offended any women that have not expereinced fertility issues.  That was not my intention AT ALL...I'm just simply jealous...of your uterus.  I'm thankful that you didn't have to go through any of this.  I wouldn't wish this kind of anxiety and bi-polar mood swings on my worst enemy...or would I?! ;)  But in all seriousness, I couldn't be happier for my friends and family that were able to conceive exactly when they wanted to...I just wish I had some of their genes and fallopian tubes! 

The closer we get to all of this actually happening the more excited and nervous I'm getting.  I hate being 'put under' for surgery, but if I get a baby (or two!) out of it I won't complain.  The thought of having a baby literally consumes my every thought.  I can't go anywhere without seeing something baby-related.  It's kind of like when you get a new car and suddenly you see that car everywhere.  When I'm driving down the street I notice strollers on sidewalks, pregnant women crossing the street, "Baby On Board" stickers on minivans.  At the mall I'm jealous of the women with giant bellies and swollen ankles..no matter how miserable they look!  At my most recent doctor appointment with the fertility specialist I was in the waiting room when a woman walked in with a toddler on her hip; my first thought was "Why are you here?! You have a baby already!"...I almost hit myself right then and there for thinking that, but this is what infertility is doing to me!

But hopefully by the end of the first week in May we'll know if the eggs (they'll implant 2) 'stuck' or not.  The thought of not being able to conceive for over a year and a half and then possibly being told we're having twins in a few weeks makes me want to jump up and down with excitement and freak out all at the same time!  Oh how our lives will change! 

And if all goes well...this will turn into a pregnancy blog, and then a mommy blog!  So here's to change in the near future  :) 

Heeeeere Weeeee Gooooo!!!

Growing up I enjoyed being an only child; I didn't have to compete for attention with anyone, I didn't have to fight over which room I had or who I had to share a room with, all the presents went to me at Christmas...life was great!  And then came along my little brother when I was in fifth grade...what a life changer!  But I really enjoyed being a big sister, and I started wondering why my parents hadn't thought of this whole 'having another kid' thing earlier! 

Come to find out years down the road they had...a lot.  My mother and three of my aunts suffered through years of infertility, and some were not able to ever conceive even with the help of fertility drugs.  I knew I had a long road ahead of me before I was even married.  I tried to stay positive and think that it might 'skip a generation' or that 'I'd be the lucky one' and not have any issues.  But after a year and a half of 'trying' the good old-fashion way and many, MANY pee-covered negative pregnancy tests staring me in the face in my bathroom, I realized I'd met the same infertility-fate as my mother and aunts had.  I knew I had to do something soon, as it took my mother over 9 years to successfully conceive after having me - and I don't want to be having children in my forties (sorry mom!).  So off to the doctors we went! 

Long story short, nothing simple worked and given my family history and all my own problems handed to me, we're starting the process of IVF today!  It's not as easy as it sounds getting this far, trust me!  We started seeing the fertility doctor in January of this year and I just started my first shot tonight.  I have friends that have been trying long before we had to conceive naturally and they're still on the first step of meds.  Thankfully I live in a state that mandates insurance companies cover fertility treatments so we were able to not only get in quickly, but four rounds of IVF are covered at 100%! 

Now that all the details of my personal story are out of the way, I want to share a few feelings I have about infertility itself.  For some reason society has deemed infertility one of those 'taboo' subjects that must not be discussed...kind of like Voldemort in Harry Potter; "The Disease That Must Not Be Named".  Well I'm ripping the bandaid off and discussing it, and if you don't like it, or think I should keep things like this to myself...well, when you go through something as stressful and draining as infertility, then you can handle it any way you like! (and you probably won't want to read my blog anymore!) ;-) 

I know many people out there don't know what it's like to experience infertility and don't know how to approach someone going through this process. That's understandable, and all support is welcome, but please keep in mind all of us infertiles out there hear the same thing from all of you able to have children just when you think about having one.  "Just relax, it'll happen when you least expect it"...I've heard this so many times I want to puke!  I know you mean well, but relaxing won't unblock my fallopian tube!  "You're so young, you have nothing to worry about!"...please, please, PLEASE don't think that just because I'm 26 doesn't mean I want this any less than someone who is 40 and going through the same thing.  Yes, I'm 'young', but if this whole situation works out the first go-around I won't have the baby until I'm 27, and where I'm from, a lot of women are finished having babies by that time!  I've even had a doctor tell me that "a puppy would be easier!"...are you kidding me?! 

So yes, I'm only 26 and I'm taking charge of my body and my wants and doing something about it...and damnit, I'm going to have a baby one way or another!  Watch out world...the Wagners will be adding a member to their family sooner or later!

Until next time, keep me and my husband in your thoughts, and wish for minimal bruising and mood swings from the injections (that second one is more for my husband's sake!)